Curbing the Craving to be recognised
Many of my friends, who are senior citizens, always crave for something or the other. Most importantly, on the top of the list, is their craving to be recognised. To be recognised in a crowd of participants in a meeting; recognised for their meager contributions of work or money; recognised for donations they make; recognised on their birthdays; recognised for what they were in the past and so on. The list is endless.
A friend that I know, highly educated and respected as a scientist, now in his eighties, recently created a big furor over some organisation missing to greet him on his birthday. He raised the issue thrice within two months. He issued several blatantly contradicting statements about his intentions, hurt, disappointment, anger, remorse on his own reactions and so on.
I realised I am no great exception when this caving is concerned. Having Observed others:
- · How this craving cheapens them;
- · how they become vulnerable in others’ eyes;
- · how much pain this non-recognition gives them;
- · how they grow their expectations in thin air leading
to disappointments etc
I have decided to end this craving in myself or at least reduce it to the barest minimum.
I intend to achieve this goal by:
- Realising the futility of the habit in the long run
- · Realising that everyone is interested only in himself primarily
and interest in others or you is only incidental and secondary
- · Realising that others will notice and remember you
only if there is something in it for them (paying back some good deed done by you
or favors you are likely to show later)
- · Reminding myself constantly to be in the present
moment by asking myself the arresting Question: “Hey, what the hell are you up to?”
- · Observing this trait in others and not criticize them
but to empathize with them
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