Sunday, May 9, 2021

Pandemic in India and Pandemonium in the Heavens

I am posting a brief narrative showing how the current covid situation has created pandemonium among gods, written by my friend Sri S Sathyamoorthy. He is a member of SSSG ISU3A etc. Hope you enjoy it. A bit too long but you will sure love to read it!

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Pandemic in India and Pandemonium in the Heavens
(by S Sathyamoorthy)

There was pandemonium  in the heavens. The Indian Covid harvest had destabilized the placid routine there.

Chitragupta was seething with anger. His work had fallen heavily in arrears in April thanks to humans falling like straw in the hospital compounds and ICU wards. Chitragupta’s brief was to square the accounts of the deceased every day. He was on top of the job when the death rate was ten percent the current number. He also found the job to become boring. There was no variety in the reasons for death- no accidents, no suicides, no deaths on the table, no child birth casualties, no typhoid, no…no…no due to lock downs , closed skies, sealed borders and HBW. People remained indoors to deny variety and time to Chitagupta. Covid corpses were waiting outside hell and heaven awaiting the individual reckoning of accounts by the Lord of the balance sheet. Sage Narada was breaking news in all the seven worlds, of the celestial break down of heavenly routine. Suras and Asuras were planning to hold a High Level meeting in the heavens to combat the crisis a la our Prime Minister, Chief Ministers, Health Secretaries, High Courts, Supreme Court, Governors, DG AIMMS et al.

Lord Yama , the kindest of all Gods had also started despairing with the unprecedented rate of casualties. His strong arms had started aching trying to pull and transport lakhs of dead bodies from thousands of hospitals, mortuaries ICUs and crematoria everyday from all corners of the country. Yama was delivering his assigned role without extra help or extra hours. More importantly the bodies were piling up on the way to heaven and hell demanding extra pull. More significantly the rope he was hitherto using was snapping at places, increasing the chances of the body hurtling  back to the hospital on terra firma. Lord Yama also hated to rope in techies and youngsters who were dying in larger numbers in the second wave.

The worst of all was the protest by Lord Shiva who was threatening to stop the Dance of Death. His dancing legs were swollen . His wrist ached with hair line cracks. Sage Dhanvantri, the celestial physician declined to bandage Shiva’s wrists  or legs as Dhanvantri could not find a consulting slot for Shiva. Sage Dhanvantri,busy with several lakhs of devotees still in the hospitals  opined  there was no emergency for Lord of Dance.  Lord Shiva the angry God  rushed to Sage Sushrushta, the celestial surgeon. Sage Sushrusta advised him to consult Ramdev in Haridwar. Anger reaching new heights Lord Shiva danced more vigorously and viciously resulting in more covid deaths in mortuaries and crematoria though it increased his swelling in the legs and wrist.

Lord Brahma was wondering how he would replace new souls for the old departed souls to retain the specie balance in this world. His creative genius was significantly strained. He did not have enough raw material for replacement creation.  For Lord Brahma  the only succour of reliable consultation and source of supply seemed to be Adar Poonawala’s Serum Institute for mass replacement. Lord Brahma also wondered whether there was any conspiracy as was whispered into his ears by Sage Narada. Narada had mentioned Pathal Log was planning to overthrow and replace him.But Lord Brahma had a more pressing and stressful task to care instantly. Goddess Saraswati, let me mention her to keep up the gender balance, was refusing to talk to or meet Lord Brahma. The silent war had raged for a month . Goddess Saraswati was unhappy that all educational institutions were closed in April and exams were postponed with the result students were not remembering Saraswati or praying to her.  

Suras and Asuras abounding in heavens had difficulty in differentiating between saints and sinners amongst the dead since there was an overload of dead bodies and most of them reported with the double masks a la Biden. Suras and Asuras were worried that they may take the wrong soul to the wrong destination. They were considering demanding Unique ID number or Aadhar card for use in the heaven. But how to connect with the Indian NICor Nilakeni?

Godmen and God women in the heavens were also dejected that temples ,churches, mosques and viharas were shut down for days and weeks as per the whims of politicians and non secular political parties without consulting their clan. Even Ram Navami could not be celebrated. Obviously Gurus, Sadhus, Agadas, Pastors,  Bishops, Arch Bishops, Maulvis, Maulanas, Nirankaris,et al were planning a congregation in the seven worlds

In the midst of all these pandemonium Ram Jethmalani was adding to confusion by demanding Supreme  Council of Gods to be constituted as the deceased  belonged to all religions. Jethmalani sahib missed the courts of law to appeal for this.Tulsi concurred and mentioned that Gods were more effective in Treta , Dwabara and Satya Yug than they were now. One RIL-Religious Interest Litigation was getting drafted with Indian help.

There was one silver line in this confusion. The whole heaven was happy with Narendra Modi and Election Commission for holding the general elections and the grand Kumbh Mela without postponement or second thought. This was hat trick for Modi after demonetization and migrant labor mismanagement as it was hat trick for Mamta in West Bengal.

As usual Maha Vishnu was reclining on his snake bed with his equanimity with the usual smile dancing on his face. Mahalakshmi was also happy that wealth changed hands faster in the Covid times in the health circuit.

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