Vyasa's Musings - Random Thoughts rendered into couplets

Vyasa's Musings

Random thoughts rendered into couplets

  

Why are our fears very acute during the night

but they appear, during the day, so light?

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Old dhoti, at your butt, will tear

if you bend without sufficient care

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If you push it in, after peeing, without care

Remember, gentlemen: light colored pants are a scare!

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Prompted by Suren, I learnt a lot about crop dusting

And the art of farting in public - not all that I read was disgusting.

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"Sleep Well" is reliable brand of Agarbatti

As it contains citronella -- a powerful "kosu-viratti"

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In the Voter Application form from a third gender, is it true

That Father is substituted by the applicant's 'Guru'?

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"Supra Eco Homes" claim that even elevators work on solar power

As if there would be sunshine all through 365 days of the year

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Raw Mango, Ridge gourd or bottle gourd peels

Are good for making chutney, don't you feel?

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Croma electric kettle has the worst deceitful design

You can't clean it or close the lid, once open, again.

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Before getting angry, will it not be nice

If you can realise it is a regrettable vice?

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Peeing and Problems of Ageing

Peeing and problems of Ageing

During Cinema Intermission if you go to the toilet for peeing, do you have to wait for a long time to start? You may feel embarrassed that others are behind you waiting. Sometimes you may even zip up and come away in frustration, without doing what you went in for. Has this ever happened to you? Years ago, Sujatha, a well known Tamil writer, commented that, on such occasions, it is the guy in front in your line that chooses to void copious volumes of undiluted urine. What a contrast!

This predicament may happen to senior citizens who suffer from Prostate Enlargement. It is usually a sign of advanced stage. May be you are waiting for an appointment for surgical intervention. It might also occur in youngsters for no reason at all. They are just timid and have low self confidence.

How do you handle this situation? Normally I choose a seat nearest to the exit door and rush to be the first few to be in the toilet. I prefer a regular closed commode instead of plain open type of urinal stand. Gain enough courage not to budge and come away unfinished. Hold your breath and grind your teeth – these help.

When old men pee there are a couple of other concomitant problems. At times you may forget to zip up after the deed. Sometimes urine may drip down your pants and if the pants are of light color you had it. I once read in a urinal wall facing me:

You might shake it and shake it as much as you please

But the last drop will always drip down your knees

Or the pants may become wet by the cloth touching rims of the toilet oval base. If you are facing loose bowls, fluidic stool may compete with water in getting out first, thus wetting back of your pants as well. How true, these problems are, only the experienced can appreciate this. To avoid these problems, stand properly. Don’t lean on the wall with your mobile in your hand as that may slip into – where, we can’t guess.

Before leaving, pick up your mobile; zip up; observe damages if any and take appropriate action. I am sorry this note is heavily gender biased. But I am sure ladies wouldn’t mind it as they would be relieved that I am not peeping into their peeing privacy. According my friend Dr Thomas, a person who dwells on stool or pee or acts related thereto, is called Professor of Scatological Profanity. Do you think I am one?