Sunday, July 19, 2015

Practical Advice to Handle Angry guys – that includes you!

Practical Advice to Handle Angry guys – that includes you!

Nowadays I find many senior citizens becoming target of anger at the hands of youngsters. Seniors are targeted because they are vulnerable, cannot (more often, do not want to) fight back because of peculiar circumstances they are in. As they are likely to be mature through experience spanning six or more decades, handling other peoples’ anger should not be difficult.

Why do people get angry? It is because of disappointment over expected things not happening or unexpected things happening. Therefore the root cause is expectation as to how things ought to be. Can we learn to accept things / events as they happen without our seeing them through colored glasses? That is, without any sort of emotional involvement? Let us see.

What to do if someone is angry at you? If you are sane and calm, keep quiet and just listen. Later, try to get at the root of the problem. Most often anger is only the external symptom. Causes could be hidden and not apparent. If you are equally in non-receptive mood, just move away. Don’t try to reason out or justify. This only aggravates the issue.

What to do when you are visibly angry? If the person on whom you are angry is someone who would stomach it, vent off your anger and apologize when you cool down. This could be a subordinate, wife or a friend who understands the situation, cooperates by keeping quiet and not adding fuel to the fire. Displaying anger when it comes and cooling off, compromising are better than bottling up anger that leads to stress and increase of Blood Pressure.

If the person upon whom you are angry is someone to whom you cannot afford to display your anger (consequences would be highly unpleasant), then try to control your anger by moving away from the scene; force yourself to sit and take a couple of deep breaths

Getting angry could be a routine pattern of reaction to many. It could be defense mechanism. The trigger could be trivial and a matter of no concern at all, most of the times. Hard core angry men who would not ever realise the futility of getting angry, or those who don’t realize the harm they causing to others need counseling and help. Provide these if feasible. If this is not possible, cut off your relationship and don’t see him again.

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