Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Seven Dirty Tricks to Tease Auto Drivers

Seven Dirty Tricks to Tease an Auto Driver


Everyone knows that auto drivers are notorious. Not just in Hyderabad but anywhere in India. They misbehave in most unexpected ways, charge higher than the meter, never agree to go where you want and at times refuse to ply short distances. Here are some tips to wreak vengeance. You can practice these tricks and gain immense satisfaction of being one up above these smart guys.


1.      When you really do not require an auto, stop an empty auto and ask him if he would come to Timbuktu or any name of a locality that does not exist. When he asks "where is that?" ask him to find out for himself and leave quietly. You may also mention some really far off place that will tempt to say yes; when he says Chalo, you simply say you have changed your mind and you do not want to go there.

2.      When an auto driver quotes his exorbitant charges, simply tell him that you will only pay treble that amount. He will be perplexed for a few minutes and then you may tell him that you will pay that much only after three days. Then you say you want the auto on after three days. When he starts scolding you, you can also say: "You are a hypotenuse of a right angle triangle"; before he wonders what it means, just leave the place.

3.      You hire an auto for a destination that is much further away from your real destination but on the way. Most probably he would agree without any murmur. When your destination comes, ask him to stop at some building for a minute. Get out, go inside the building (pretend), come back and say: "the person whom I was going to meet has come to this building itself". Then excuse yourself and dismiss the auto paying only whatever is due correctly.

4.      You can do the above pretending to be talking to your friend on the mobile a few minutes before the actual destination and play the same trick. ("Say something like: I am reaching you in a few minutes.. Oh you are right now here ?.. Oh!! in … this XYZ building..?).

5.      Just as the driver keeps hinting for extra money before reaching the destination, you also keep saying that the meter is faulty, he is manipulating the meter, He is taking longer route etc. This will prevent him from asking for more while you get down.

6.      When you do not need any auto, simply stand nearby an auto stand and make a note of all Registration numbers of Autos. If somebody asks, you simply say it is your hobby.

7.      Sometimes you may be able to identify and spot a constantly erring auto driver. In such instances, if a friend is with you, simply point your finger at the driver and pretend as you are passing some (bad) remarks about him. He may grow suspicious but can not do anything in retaliation. 

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