When someone asks you ....

When someone asks you ….

When someone asks you ‘How do you do’ or ‘how are you doing’, it is a courteous way starting the conversation or a polite way of recognizing your presence upon meeting you. We shouldn’t start reeling off our sob stories unless it is something earth shattering like bereavement over a lost spouse, or the doctor has confirmed that our days are countable due to terminal cancer. No one likes the company of a whiner or those who pour out their miseries at the drop of a hat.

When someone says that he reads my blog posts I shouldn’t jump and ask whether he has read my latest post or embarrass him asking which one he liked most. He may at best just vaguely remember that I blog often. I know a friend, whom if I meet after a gap of few years, will ask me questions to ascertain whether I really remember him or recollect who he is. One cousin asked me, pointing her fingers at two Tirupati-returned-tonsured twin children, as to who is who. It is a tough question even for the mother to answer correctly, leave alone the poor me – who cannot remember faces or names or places easily. Next para tells you what a poor memory I have.

Many years ago I participated in the Annual day celebration of Senior Citizens Forum, invited and introduced by my friend Sivaram. The chief guest commented in his speech that an easy way to please someone, especially a senior citizen is to ask how old he is and then say: ‘You don’t look that old at all’. This will please many older adults, he said. During the tea break I introduced myself to a participant and asked his age. He said: “I could not grow any older significantly since this morning. We got introduced just before this lecture”. Later on I learnt from someone who overheard our conversation that the other person I was talking to was the one who gave the lecture as chief guest. 

We should always try to allow the other person to save his face as others have done several times in my case.

Image credit: https://goo.gl/8zYNE2